Thursday, August 18, 2011

星期三(假期)

Today's mood :>
今天是Selangor假期。一个人驾车去Cheras吃午餐,途中还昏昏欲睡,因为昨晚一整晚都没睡。点餐后,原本还窃喜可以一个人霸完整间餐厅,听着很relax的音乐,安安静静地享受假日午餐。忽然有两个cinapek的uncle走进来,讲话大声,还一直敲桌子。什么mood都没了。吃完后,便去Sunway Pyramid找惠恩,陪她吃饭。过后因为太睏了,所以一回到家就直接睡到半夜十二点半。哈哈。。一个假期就这样完了。

该把心情收拾一下了。

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I had a great life

Today's mood :>
I had a great life.
I didn't have a job, but my full time freelance income is pretty stable and more than enough to survive.
I didn't own a car, but there's always someone who could drive me.
I had a bf, although he can't satisfy my romantic needs, but he never cheated on me, yet, his parents love me like their own daughter.
I have family who is understanding and never give up on me, luckily, they still do.
What else I can ask for?

I know, this blog is full of negative thoughts. But this is where I can shoot out everything I feel.

Tell me why,
Why are these happening to me?
I don't want to blame everything on me trusting friends, but it's always "friends" that get me into troubles.
Is this how my life would end? With no achievements, no companions, just an empty soul?

God,
I didn't do anything bad. At least, I didn't have intention to hurt anyone..
Why???

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Cried on CNY

Today's mood :>

It has been a year since we broke up. Don't you just hate packing up your stuff and saw something you hid and wish you'd never see it again? I saw my closed photo frame with photo of me and him. I closed it back and left it at a side. I don't want to see it yet I can't throw it away. After awhile, I clean up my desktop, copying the cluttered folders and files on the desktop to the other drive. Again, photos of me and him.

I started crying. Not that I want to be with him again. It's just..it's been a year, a lot of things happened. And I finally found out the truth. But the truth doesn't matter to him anymore now.

3 years I have been staying with him, that meant a lot to me. His family is like my 2nd home. I'm sad because, 1) I planned to live the rest of my life with him, if he ever propose, and it's gone now. 2) I couldn't take care and listen to his mom when she's upset, not anymore. 3) All my plan is ruined by some idiot that I used to try my best to trust.

He's not perfect, I know. But at least, he put down his pride which he held on to it so much and went to my house to look for me after I ran off. Imagine, my family couldn't speak English well, and he's a 'banana'. For that moment I know, I'm as important as his pride to him. People out there, do you think your bf loves you more if he buys you everything you want? Or carry your bag and follow you shopping? Well, I actually judge his love by his intention. Think deeper.

I should stop this shit, thinking bout the past. But I would like him to know, the truth, though it doesn't matter anymore.

Gong Xi Fa Cai and have a Happy Bunny Year ahead, people.
FML.