The loneliness of single life

Today's mood :>

Honestly I had never been single since...Form 2.
And it's my first time being so 'free' since started working.

Kinda depressed. I used to have his companion.
I tried to enjoy being alone,
but I still wish to have someone to share my joy and tears with.

Wholly I tried to give my true heart away,
but everybody starts to tear it off now..as if it doesn't cost a thing.

So stupid. I started evaluate myself. Foolish dumb.
I looked so high on myself,
but nobody thought like what I think of myself.

This is the truth.
I thought I'm trustworthy, but in fact, nobody trust me.
I thought I'm a good girlfriend, but in fact, my ex doesn't feel the same.
I thought I could be a soulmate, but in fact, they never open their hearts for me.

I'm feeling like I'm waiting for something..
but what/who am I waiting for?

God, please tell me, did You make the another half of me?
Or I'm made to be alone and live in my own world?

Stalker

Today's mood :>

I should stop stalking.
There's enough evidence of him dating her.
Why am I reading other ppl's love story?

Tell me what so bad about me and what I've done wrong.
I'm not being confident but I usually could judge myself.

I didn't dare to face him last night.
I tried to avoid unneeded complicated atmosphere.
Afraid that I couldn't help myself and fall again.

But it's clear enough.

He is a teenager.
He doesn't serious on relationship.
He is lack of the sense of responsibility.
He doesn't respect love.

He had already lost every byte of memory about me.
Which I nicely kept it in my brain.
He had found another girl and moved on.
And I should also
.
.
.
Stand up. Step out. Move on.

In a fight

Today's mood :>

Nobody can give u true happiness but yourself.

A person who can make u laugh is the person who can make u cry too.

My friend said,
it's just that I haven't found the right person to love and be loved.
I love this line.

I know u'r bored with this miserable side of me.
Whom u tried so hard to save from depression,
yet I fell again.

Please forgive me,
and don't give up on me yet.
I might not be a good friend,
but I'm glad to have u by my side.
.
.
.
I'm in a fight with my own emotion.

Is it just me?

Today's mood :>

Clock's ticking...
I don't know if his FB status are referring me. my heart goes 50/50.
I hope yes, maybe no.

Why can't we talk over it?
Why can't we talk?
Why can't we?

Phone's not ringing...
I've been waiting for months to hear my phone ringing that special ringtone.
I hope yes, right now.

Who is the one you can give your heart to?
Who is the one you can live without?
Who is the one you can share secrets?
.
.
.
Jealousy is killing me, and my hope too.