Tuesday, December 28, 2004


Today's mood :>
another new nick for my msn...


The fire of love still burning up my heart,
makes me hot until non-stop mumbling my love for him

this nick i compose for him..dunno he can c o not..wish he can understand why am i doing this..i wish there's an end for the problem between us..can he listen to the mumblings?

Love Problem

Today's mood :>
im really in damn serious prob in love...i dunno what happen to us..we used to be happy talking to each other..we used to have the same thought...y suddenly things changed in such a short time? y our faith lost in such a fast speed like a lighting..?

i didnt lie..i really didnt lie to him.. y he doesnt believe me anymore.. i admit i did make a small lie last time..but i dunwan n dun wish he angry at me..i nvr wish for his angryness.. everything i did is juz want his attention..to make me feel more secure n loved..i wonder who can measure my love to him..y does distance take away his love? im wrong? i wish i get the wrong thing too..

i really miss those days being with him..we sat outside on the see-saw to watch stars and the big bright moon..i still remember he told me what's HACKS..the sweet..he passed me the paper n told me HACKS stand for Hanya Aku Cinta Kau Sahaja (I Love U only)..and also Hanya Awak Cinta Ku Sahaja (U Love Me only) that's so sweet rite? he nvr talked to me like this now...althou im not wishing him to talk to me in the way that is only sweet words..i juz wan to feel that im loved..by him...y is he treating me so cold now?

ppl outside our world always say that im a play'girl'..said that i nvr serious in love.. i wanted to explain that not i dunwan to serious..im sked to be hurt..but i nvr sked to give out my love..when im serious in love i'll always cry..i dont want to c myself crying for love..especially for somebody that doesnt love me..but i always can't stop crying..becuz im really really deep in love with him...

there's someone said..if u really love somebody..u juz wan him to be happy then u'll be happy too...i agree..but the thing is ..i didnt see him happy when being with me..that's really make me sad..i felt so useless..so helpless..so guilty..that im not being a good gf..didnt make my bf to be happy..

i really want him back to my side...i wan to stay beside him...who can help me...even god wants to tear us apart...or he's the one who dunwan to be with a person that doesnt make him happy?i dun wish to think so much..but i dunwan to escape from this problem..last time if i stand in the same situation, i'll go n sleep n dunwan to think bout this again..but now i wish this problem can be solved n we return to the old days when we're happy to c each other...but y is he escaping? i dun understand.....

Sunday, December 26, 2004


Today's mood :>
anybody know what's the meaning? i translate lah

rainbow at the night, snow at the tropics;
我们都一起欣赏过的奇景,the wonderful view we watched together,
can they prove that we really have fate?

i put this chinese phrase on my msn nick...actually how many of u believe that there's a rainbow at nite and malaysia dropping snow...haha..abit wrong channel rite..? i believe that if u pass these with a person..for sure u have fate with this person..n this person with me is Him..maybe i juz wan to comfort myself..tell myself that we have fate..LoLx..but it's really rare to see those view lah...hehehe...maybe i wont forget Him...maybe there's an end for our fate...so many maybe..what can i think of ler? better dun think of them..juz let it be..rite?

Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Xmas!

Today's mood :>
ooo..so fast 1 yr passed...haihz..getting older jor..fat jor..more problems jor..more pimples jor..LoLx..today is xmas eve oh...got any plan? erm..i still havent decide what to do tonite..heehee..oh yea..i got my line back ediz..now i can online at home loo~~ hohoh...even i can online at home doesnt mean i'll lose anything ga..i'll GAIN something..not losing..nyekzz...ermm...going to update this bloggie lah..if got time (if i can put away maple story...) LoLx...alrite..come often..i'll update very often de...ok! :P

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Today's mood :>
I've lost everything for u..my time, my feeling, my emotions, my thinking, my family, my money, my friends, my phone, real everything..did u take it for granted? Did u give me ur world too? comparing doesn't exist in love..so i don't care.. but is it love is only juz giving out? it's 2 parties depending each other..i admit im not as good as others, im not as pretty as others, im nothing better than others..or i lost my confidence to u too? Am I the loser? Did I lose something? Is there a place in ur heart for me to stand still? I lose..and I lost..Do u have something to say? yea..i've got it right..u hide something from me..If i didnt ask u that, what will u say to bluff me? i hate myself on being "too clever" to see through u..can i juz turn my head n run away.. i'm afraid i can't face this.. I'm the real loser...

Thursday, December 02, 2004


Today's mood :>
urgh..although i didnt sleep whole night to complete my assignment..but i still very STRENGTHFUL and ENERGETIC loo..haha..cuz holidayzzz loo! although i still havent finish my photography portfolio.. :( in this holiday i wanna do something for myself..sharpen dreamweaver skills and flash too..going to redesign a brand new layout for this boring bloggie..good luck to me lah! must plant self motivation in me..!! leave me a comment to wish me good luck ;D

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


Today's mood :>
erm..i stopped so many days didn't post liao..something i wan to share..today actually im supposed to rush a project but i still at outside..surprisingly..i tot i will be crying..but i didn't..i guess i handle that quite well but too bad i hurt another person..the one who always stand beside me..i felt so guilty..if i can choose i really dont wanna hurt anybody..in the other hand, i sked i'll be hurt too..im so confusing..saying sorry is the only thing i can do..i tried to cheer up that person..but that person still feels angry..i understand..things that already past..it's past..we don't need to look back..but remember the good lessons..look forward, dude!
Today's mood :>

aiyaa..im acolyte? i thought archer..hehe..nvm..I'M KIND!