Tuesday, February 22, 2005


Today's mood :>
hrm..chat with many ppl last nite..i mean few hours ago la..they advised me to find another 1 wo..but i can mer? i dun wanna give up lo..but ppl edi decline me..y i still wan to hold so tight leh..made myself san fu oni..rite? haha..in my heart, he's really the best 1..but y i did such thing to hurt him leh? too much ler me..sigh..these few dayz for me r so plain..so empty..i dunhaf the mood to do anything..except thinking of him..he asked me to stand in his shoes n think..i understood..even the same thing happened to me..i also can't accept..y i still beg him like i got no class leh? cuz i really luv him n i can't live without him lo..but how i wan him to be with me ler? horoscope said im a trustworthy ppl..blah! everybody around us oso know that he's serious this time..n me too..but sigh..incident happened too suddenly..those 4 months r juz a dream..im back to 4 months that me..i can only luv him in my heart..he knows ma? i wish to back to the dream...where i can feed him honey star..cook for him..play with him..do assignment with him..bath with him..help him to clean up his room..hide inside blanket with him..so close to him..im not acting sad..im real sad..y when the time broke up,we only know we really luv each other..can sumbody tell us that we still can be together?..........

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Valentine's Day

Today's mood :>
yesterday is valentine's day..im very sad..i dun wanna say that..i know it's my fault..i can really swear in my heart only got feng..last nite..after came back from red box..i felt very very lonely..much much sad..cuz i used to be with him at that time..until 4am only go back home..he paid alot of his freedom to me..i did give out myself too..i did try my best to make him happy always..it's juz incident..this morning..when i woke up..the 1st thing i think of is him..i can't help myself..i forgot when did i go sleep..i muz b slept for quite some time..arrrggggghhhhhhh...i really very very miss him..even i'll only get scolded by him if i talk to him..i rather get scolded then sitting here doing nothing..it's like..an angel did something wrong in heaven..the punishment is to push to hell..nobody can help..i dun wanna go..he'll feel annoy if i always go find him..i muz act happy..so that he dun feel sad too..but in this bloggie..i really wanna release out my emotions..i really really really really love him..miss him..need him..feng..feng...bar bee wont die..cuz bay bee loves bar bee..n bar bee still very love bay bee..dun cut it off..i beg u..plz...plzzzz....i can promise u everything..i can do anything for u..believe me plz...i know im wrong..juz 1 more try? feng..dun push me to hell if u love me..i know u do..feng....fenggggggggg.....i dont cry in front of ppl..doesnt mean im not sad..im crying in my room...im not want to 'bok tong ching'..i really really need u very much..i promise u i'll be very very guai n all listen to u..plz..i really wan to be with u only..bcuz only u love me in this world..if u leave me..there's only cover in my life..bay..u'r always my bay..plz take me back as ur bar bee..i wont take off the necklace which carved ur name..becuz i'm always urs..bay..that's only incident..we can work it out de..we can..bay, i really very need u to be my side..im like lose my shadow..im floating..i miss u....i want u back...bay... ayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Friends, Family, Lover...

Today's mood :>
all about love..i like to be with friends..but i dun wanna leave my lover..but i also can't live without family..that's a human need?? i tot i live for only my dear..but i found out the best love to give out is living happily..when u'r happy with everything dat's the best love u can give to ur loved one..so..relag la..be happier..den everything will work out..+ u!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

it's not CNY..

Today's mood :>
haihz..almost every year i face this kinda...erm...how to say? situation..which like my own real brother..ahh...i dunno where to start 1st..from start till the end..im not welcomed..im always not invited to their activity..i didnt act 'lan c' if u know me..they juz went genting..me? still at home..writing bloggie..haihz..actually im not desperate wanna go genting..juz feel like..im alienated..well i still can comfort myself using 'cheh! i dun follow u guyz go i still can go with my frens..n that will be much funnier n greater than with u guyz..!'but my heart still doesnt feel very well..so i listen to benny benassi again =.= drinking beer..considered to smoke..but i didnt..i decide to call my bao bei up..no service....arghhh....y...when i needed u the most u'r not there..y......y dont u stand by my side? i wanna get drunk n sleep..dun wanna think of anything......

Monday, February 07, 2005

back from Penang..

Today's mood :>
yooo ...im back from Penang already..now my brain n body r feeling uncontrol..especially my mind is very confuse n pening..my heart beat very fast..like getting high jor..i didnt take ecstacy ah..i didnt drink o smoke too..i didnt take drug..LoLx..i juz listen to songs..keng leh? it's good for me to feel like this without taking drugs lo..at least i wont hurt my organs ma..rite? well im listening benny benassi right now..might feel better if it's night now..with headset..n disco light..woohoo..that'll be great..
penang trip ah..not no nice la...cuz went there do assignment oni..not go play..so not very excited..haha..the good thing is got free LAKSA eat loh..CNY coming soon..n oso valentine's day..hehe..no plan a..cuz got project have to passup on valentine's day..mmmmm....i cannot write liao..have to stop..getting sooo high...

Friday, February 04, 2005

Entering 116th day..

Today's mood :>
today..the 116th..he's going to penang..i'll be going at nite..im not thinking of anything tonite..i mean rite now..maybe he juz gave me a kiss today :) maybe he juz stare at me today...makes me so 'lump'..let me think of everything that happen on the very 1st nite..that nite im kinda blur..maybe im sleepy..haha..but very clearly i know what im doing..i still can remember until now..that nite will be the only n the most wonderful nite i ever had..it's juz like a dream..that's what i told him..haha..it's not a dream now..it's real..the only thing i can do now is..keep going..that's all..