Today's mood :>
last nite..i had a talk with him..juz becuz a forwarded sms..saying goodnite to him from his ex gf..i felt jealous..on y is she treating him so good? alrite..it's not only the sms..she gave him alot of stuff from 'speedy' (becuz she works there)..like free gifts n posters..his room is all full of posters..(althou a part of them r bought or stole from shop 1) y is she looking for him alone when she came to KL? y she will call him for comfort? y she sms him when she got nightmare n can't fall asleep?
there's so many questions inside my head..i didnt think that he likes her..n he did told me he didnt feel anything for her already..then y am i feeling sked?y am i feeling so unwell?he told me..it'z juz becuz im that kinda person that when a person treat me good i'll like/love him..what can i say bout that?maybe last time i was that kinda person..but now..im NOT! i love him more than everything..even another guy treat me better than he did..i still dun wanna leave him..mayb i juz have to see her face to face..n then i'll believe that she juz treat him as a NORMAL friend..
i wan to be comfort by him too..i wan his caring..even juz ask me have i eaten anything...i wan him to comfort me when i got nightmare..but what he said is i got hot-tempered..he said he spent lotsa time with me..he asked me y am i still feeling unsecure?did he know..when he's beside me,most of the time, he didnt show up his happy face..as if i made him sad..
i felt so useless..his friends dont like me..my joke is not funny..i took away him from his friends..i asked a lotsa silly questions..whether when im not with him he will feels better..becuz i can c..he smiles in front of his friends more than with me..i asked him that issit he get paid to be with me n ask me to diet..y is he still be with me even i got that LOTSA weaknesses n bad habit?
i need more caring..i need more warm..i duwan blanket..i juz wan him to hug me tightly..i guess that's the only time i can feel better..loved..n secured..y is he saying me 'kiasu'?i sked lose..yea i sked to LOSE HIM...yea he said he wont leave me..he really told me that..but everytime when he's angry with me..i really sked that's the end of our relationship..i lose in what?what i can win when we didnt end our relationship?face?wth?? i rather i can WIN UR HEART..win ur trust..win ur everything..
y r u hurting me like this?i really did try to give u everything u want..mayb i juz expect too much..i hate those articles to say about what's love..y love n this n that..bcuz all the articles made ppl THINKS that this is love..n that is not..they made rules of love..Y? imagine if there's no articles or books write about love..do u think u can love happier? when u got less sensitivity?
at last..i asked him a question..do he still got feel on me..he didnt think n said yes..now..i knew that actually if u really love a person..u wont think bout his/her weaknesses or bad habit..n then i think..actually we'r the same..even how he hurts me..i'll still love him..i wish i dont meet an accident today n then passed away without letting him know..i didnt love him for something else..i love him from my heart..i juz dunwan him to talk about my bad things again..bcuz i dunwan that spoil our true love..
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Jay Chou~
'Incomparable'
Yeah...i bought a poster >.< there's already 3 jay's poster on my wall..heheh..today's his concert in Malaysia..have fun ya! im not going to the concert cuz my bao bei said it's going to be boring at the concert..so i rather have my sweet time with my bao bei ^.^ ganbate everyone!! q^_^p
Thursday, January 27, 2005
O'cha!
Today's mood :>
ei...not very long oni ma..4 days oni din post..hahah..ok loh...since my best fren Fish oso blogging..i layan abit..:D O'cha...what's about my title? i juz finished bath ah..used o'cha shower gel..erm..when bathing no smell 1..after bath then very very nice smell ah~~~ u guyz can have a try..ehehe..last few days my class got a very hot topic..it's about my 2 frens broke up..they were like 2 sticking honey bean..ehhehe..always together n nvr apart..suddenly got this news i really can't believe it lo..anyway i still hope both of them happy ler..one of them told me..if my loved 1 wants freedom then juz give him..what he wants juz give him..n then he'll understand y am i doing all this..i think cannot say like this loh..cuz everybody oso got own personality de..some will appreciate it..some will not..some will know it some will not..there's so many kind of ppl in this world..how can u put a 'public format' on human ler..rite? for me..juz let it be..if he wants freedom which i can still afford..then i can give..what i told myself is..if he wants to run away..i can't block him..nobody can help..so what for i stand there n blocking him to fly? i juz hope that he can fly above me n smiling at me...i know he wont agree with this..anyway he wont be reading my bloggie too..i write what i like.. :)
ei...not very long oni ma..4 days oni din post..hahah..ok loh...since my best fren Fish oso blogging..i layan abit..:D O'cha...what's about my title? i juz finished bath ah..used o'cha shower gel..erm..when bathing no smell 1..after bath then very very nice smell ah~~~ u guyz can have a try..ehehe..last few days my class got a very hot topic..it's about my 2 frens broke up..they were like 2 sticking honey bean..ehhehe..always together n nvr apart..suddenly got this news i really can't believe it lo..anyway i still hope both of them happy ler..one of them told me..if my loved 1 wants freedom then juz give him..what he wants juz give him..n then he'll understand y am i doing all this..i think cannot say like this loh..cuz everybody oso got own personality de..some will appreciate it..some will not..some will know it some will not..there's so many kind of ppl in this world..how can u put a 'public format' on human ler..rite? for me..juz let it be..if he wants freedom which i can still afford..then i can give..what i told myself is..if he wants to run away..i can't block him..nobody can help..so what for i stand there n blocking him to fly? i juz hope that he can fly above me n smiling at me...i know he wont agree with this..anyway he wont be reading my bloggie too..i write what i like.. :)
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Assignments again.....
Today's mood :>
let me list down what i have to do in this period...i almost forgot what i have to do..cuz everyday play gunbound until crazy..must put some time on my assignments liao..hehe
let me list down what i have to do in this period...i almost forgot what i have to do..cuz everyday play gunbound until crazy..must put some time on my assignments liao..hehe
- Online Media - Lab of Emotions
- Multimedia Authoring - Malaysian Identity (KL Railway Station)
- Marker Visual - Semi-finished Marker + 1 set of Figure Sketching
erm.....i think that's all...looks like very lil but when need to brainstorm that time...wow...can die la...alrite...if i din blog for a long time..plz b patient ah..hehe :P
oh yea...anybody know where can i download PowerWord 2003 software by Kingsoft for free?
n...anybody got Macromedia Director latest version de installation cd ? pirated oso can :P i need to install liao..hehe..
thx for reading..
Friday, January 21, 2005
Good Mood!
Today's mood :>
erm..now im feeling so goooood...no reason..maybe i think through something or what..haha..the last days passed i always in bad mood..n always want HIM to care bout me..i got many demands from him..n he get tired of that..but dunno y..i really dunno y i can feel so good now..maybe i gave a reason to myself..for the reason y am i feeling so bad last dayz..i guess maybe my "aunty" going to visit me..LoLx..but that really makes me happier..maybe if im happy in front of HIM..he'll be happy too..then i wont feel that he's sad then i'll be in bad mood again..rite? everytime i see his sad or moody face i'll be very moody n then he'll think that i suddenly moody then both of us oso moody...LoLx..y wan to act like that? i wan him to care bout me 1st i must care bout him..! am i right? n then i think of something..i wanna tell u guyz..HE ONLY LOVE ME! NOBODY ELSE...hehehe..mayb im too confident? well that's the way i comfort myself..i love to see his smile..so touching..especially the smile while juz wake up..heheh..he's completely blur but he'll smile n looking at me...owww im gonna cry..heheh i must stop here..cuz he's waiting me to go over his place n have lunch with HIM..i wanna write down this moment..so that in the future i'll know how good i actually feel this time..if im sad..hehehhe...bao bei..i really hope u can read this..cuz i really wanna tell u..I LOVE U..more than everything in my life..am i too selfish? i can't hide..i wanna let u feel my passion on u..ganbatte! ^.^
erm..now im feeling so goooood...no reason..maybe i think through something or what..haha..the last days passed i always in bad mood..n always want HIM to care bout me..i got many demands from him..n he get tired of that..but dunno y..i really dunno y i can feel so good now..maybe i gave a reason to myself..for the reason y am i feeling so bad last dayz..i guess maybe my "aunty" going to visit me..LoLx..but that really makes me happier..maybe if im happy in front of HIM..he'll be happy too..then i wont feel that he's sad then i'll be in bad mood again..rite? everytime i see his sad or moody face i'll be very moody n then he'll think that i suddenly moody then both of us oso moody...LoLx..y wan to act like that? i wan him to care bout me 1st i must care bout him..! am i right? n then i think of something..i wanna tell u guyz..HE ONLY LOVE ME! NOBODY ELSE...hehehe..mayb im too confident? well that's the way i comfort myself..i love to see his smile..so touching..especially the smile while juz wake up..heheh..he's completely blur but he'll smile n looking at me...owww im gonna cry..heheh i must stop here..cuz he's waiting me to go over his place n have lunch with HIM..i wanna write down this moment..so that in the future i'll know how good i actually feel this time..if im sad..hehehhe...bao bei..i really hope u can read this..cuz i really wanna tell u..I LOVE U..more than everything in my life..am i too selfish? i can't hide..i wanna let u feel my passion on u..ganbatte! ^.^
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Meaningless
Today's mood :>
是我们没有了话题，还是到了不必说话也明白的阶段？我两个都不想要。。。
meaning of this sentence is :
"Are we don't have any topic to talk about, or already reach the stage which will understand even we don't talk?I don't want both of them...
issit abit negative leh? i tried to joke..but he doesnt smile..i tried to talk alot to make him happy a lil bit..but he didn't tend to gimme some response..so i dunwan to talk..i shut my mouth..n stare at him..i dunwan to make myself fall into this..i dunwan to make myself cry..what's changing when time passed? my love? his love? no no no...we really love each other!! then what's the matter? what's the matter....
是我们没有了话题，还是到了不必说话也明白的阶段？我两个都不想要。。。
meaning of this sentence is :
"Are we don't have any topic to talk about, or already reach the stage which will understand even we don't talk?I don't want both of them...
issit abit negative leh? i tried to joke..but he doesnt smile..i tried to talk alot to make him happy a lil bit..but he didn't tend to gimme some response..so i dunwan to talk..i shut my mouth..n stare at him..i dunwan to make myself fall into this..i dunwan to make myself cry..what's changing when time passed? my love? his love? no no no...we really love each other!! then what's the matter? what's the matter....
Monday, January 10, 2005
Continue...
Today's mood :>
college reopen..assignments continue coming..T.T i really wanna try hard on my works ler..although everytime i finish my work last minute..sad to say that...haihz...as a multimedia designer..i should have my own e-portfolio rite? im doing so badly here..wasted my parents money to let me study in such expensive college..feeling so shame to share my ugly artworks.. anyway... try lah! nowadays juz created a forum for my dear classmates..got time den visit lo..empty forum =.=
college reopen..assignments continue coming..T.T i really wanna try hard on my works ler..although everytime i finish my work last minute..sad to say that...haihz...as a multimedia designer..i should have my own e-portfolio rite? im doing so badly here..wasted my parents money to let me study in such expensive college..feeling so shame to share my ugly artworks.. anyway... try lah! nowadays juz created a forum for my dear classmates..got time den visit lo..empty forum =.=
Thursday, January 06, 2005
My Bao Bei...
Today's mood :>
hmm..let's guess who's my Bao Bei (Honey)..heehee..im so happy that he said he loves me yesterday..woohooo...he used to say that he doesnt need to say "i love u" becuz i will know it if he really loves me..but i explained to him tat if he tells me then i'll have a powerful prove that he REALLY loves me n i can hold that sentence until end of my life..it's really very touching so i cried..there's no other "i love u" much real than his 1...ahhhhhh...i love u too my Bao Bei..
hmm..let's guess who's my Bao Bei (Honey)..heehee..im so happy that he said he loves me yesterday..woohooo...he used to say that he doesnt need to say "i love u" becuz i will know it if he really loves me..but i explained to him tat if he tells me then i'll have a powerful prove that he REALLY loves me n i can hold that sentence until end of my life..it's really very touching so i cried..there's no other "i love u" much real than his 1...ahhhhhh...i love u too my Bao Bei..
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