Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Maturity vs Passion

Today's mood :>
when u tend to act cool n analyze things..that's maturity..but do so-called matured ppl look into passion n the energetic side of young ppl?i dun see only bad or good things is both of this to balance it? u know, balance is always the best in between 2 opposite things.. but it's hard to archieve. im always categorized in the immature child.. bcuz im too emotional, i express too much? let go somebody is more than mature, but u also can say that u have less passion or will to hold that somebody.. u can't predict things in love.. neither me.. but i always think alot of possibility.. im not make it by myself.. there's evidence where guys dont realize.. it made by u.. made me think of THOSE possibility..i learnt to look at the sky when im not happy, or swinging on the 'gong gong' outside ur house. bcuz sky is big, spacious, so it made me feel more 'open-minded'..but i hope someday, when u feel that im lack of passion, will u think that it's maturity? hope u get what i mean..accept who i am..

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

3 months

Today's mood :>
What had change in juz 3 months..?many many's starting another semester in my studies..but i failed 3 subjects last relationship still so so..self attitude problems will nvr be solved..i wish im juz a character in those rpg games..everything is set and dun need to decide things..sometimes i wish im juz a rock..a stone at the road side n nobody will look on it..being hidden all the way..but i like 'love'..i like to have emotions..sigh..i dont know what am i talking going to have my dinner..since he's having sushi king with his bro..n i can't T.T i wan to eat sushi too~~ i hate u lao gong..!!

Sunday, June 05, 2005

rushing rushing ><

Today's mood :>
sigh...actually now im rushing business card project for tmr presentation...juz come here relax relax...whoa...months i didnt post bloggie here...sorry lar..nowadays oso post at msn spaces using chinese :D at least i still remember here lar.. :) sigh....when got time oni update here lar..ja ne

Thursday, April 28, 2005

My MSN Space

Today's mood :>
so long didn't post here..hehee..too busy with msn space :P i got a powerbook edi now..need to enhance my skill on many software using mac ler..hrmph..but too bad i dunhaf those software..need to money edi la..200 bux for the sh*t multimedia authoring's final project more plan for my holiday...althou it's passing fast ler..sigh..need rest ler..jaa...

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Morning Birdie..

Today's mood :>'s mood not bad lah..okok lah..woke up so early o.O did many things but it's only 10:30am...=.=" althou i got many assignments to marker visual is going to fail..haha next term's tuition fees is RM7, gosh..really spent lots of my parents' money..dunno when oni can return back to dream guy oso woke up very early today..very rare to see that eh!! 9am edi woke up!! ^^ he said today got something to need to wake up early lo..erm..yesterday listened to tatsun hoi's talk bout "how to retire at the age of 38"..sigh..if im that lucky then good lah..alrite..i's not only LUCK..have to put more effort on my works..bla bla bla..what i wish is only growing up with sounds a lil childish yet it's really my dream...fantasy..he made it for listening to leehom - xin zhong de ri yue..about a couple loving each other and having different dream..even having different dream..i nvr feel that my love is washed by that..or by heart is still waiting for let's get up n fight..for ...for my own future..haha.. that's really true that we'll change our demand of quality life once we grow more mature..that's true..n let's c how true is my love then..haha..will i change? or not? chee wee, a tutor of my class, said that im holding my belief very tightly..nobody's going to change my mind..i guess time is the one that can only change me..isnt everybody same with me? who can change themselves in a day? no way...juz b urself..!! i love him, he's not the one who bring me down..i like to be with him, that's the time i can concerntrate.. when i can really put aside my emotions..i hope he's the partner fighting with me to better future..he's the shoulder for me to rely..he's good..believe me..haha..y am i promoting him? XD jaa....long enough for today's blog :P

Friday, April 08, 2005


Today's mood :>
juz woke up...lter 10am have to go tatsun's lazy...i tot it's already my dream..i tot already late..but think of attendance is compulsary..i woke up n c the clock on my's only i have to wake up..but dunno y i think of blogging..hohoh..mayb too long din blog gua..last few days rushing digital video..din really catch up with dream guy..haha :P he's oso very busy..but i do always miss him..always peek on him..he noticed that edi >< paisehhhh..this few weeks i always dream of him..omg..i really falling deeper n wishlist is soooo long..dunno when can complete it..hrmmm gonna get ready to coll liao...jaaaa...

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

sleepless zombie

Today's mood :>
3:27am....still haven sleep oh...figure sketching n marker oso havent touch yet...juz dun wanna sleep lah..dun blame assignments..haha..cuz he's still online oh..juz finished bath? bathed for ages lah~ waited for so long..hrmm...HE? i dunno woh..still wearing the necklace..ah teng asked me y still wearing it ler..erm..i juz answered her i wear for beauty oni..cuz the necklace very nice ma..n cute..she said buy 1 new 1 for me to wear..haha..she's juz joking la..anyway thx for concerning..XD today class until 1030 late..luckily ah fish fetch me back to old klang road then i took bus home..when waiting at the bus accidently met my old fren there..hohoh..he's very cute 1 lah..very talkative..shhhh...his name is brandon..u can read his bloggie from my link too..erm..chatted with him from the bus stop until my house de bus stop where i get long time didnt see him..ermph..wish him good luck in coming stpm la..alrite..i oso dunno what to write jor...hai gam sin lah!

Thursday, March 10, 2005


Today's mood :> like an ecstasy..maybe even stronger than ecstasy..he made me fall..made me high..caused me addicted..made me forget who am i..he made me curious to touch him..urmmm...very nice feeling..i guess..that's the only time i can c PERFECT..everything so perfect with him..i know ecstasy is bad for health..haha..but who cares? i feel happy..n that's wat life need to have..let me follow HIM...

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


Today's mood :> with many ppl last nite..i mean few hours ago la..they advised me to find another 1 wo..but i can mer? i dun wanna give up lo..but ppl edi decline me..y i still wan to hold so tight leh..made myself san fu oni..rite? my heart, he's really the best 1..but y i did such thing to hurt him leh? too much ler me..sigh..these few dayz for me r so empty..i dunhaf the mood to do anything..except thinking of him..he asked me to stand in his shoes n think..i understood..even the same thing happened to me..i also can't accept..y i still beg him like i got no class leh? cuz i really luv him n i can't live without him lo..but how i wan him to be with me ler? horoscope said im a trustworthy ppl..blah! everybody around us oso know that he's serious this time..n me too..but sigh..incident happened too suddenly..those 4 months r juz a back to 4 months that me..i can only luv him in my heart..he knows ma? i wish to back to the dream...where i can feed him honey star..cook for with assignment with him..bath with him to clean up his room..hide inside blanket with close to not acting real sad..y when the time broke up,we only know we really luv each other..can sumbody tell us that we still can be together?..........

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Valentine's Day

Today's mood :>
yesterday is valentine's very sad..i dun wanna say that..i know it's my fault..i can really swear in my heart only got feng..last nite..after came back from red box..i felt very very lonely..much much sad..cuz i used to be with him at that time..until 4am only go back home..he paid alot of his freedom to me..i did give out myself too..i did try my best to make him happy's juz incident..this morning..when i woke up..the 1st thing i think of is him..i can't help myself..i forgot when did i go sleep..i muz b slept for quite some time..arrrggggghhhhhhh...i really very very miss him..even i'll only get scolded by him if i talk to him..i rather get scolded then sitting here doing's angel did something wrong in heaven..the punishment is to push to hell..nobody can help..i dun wanna go..he'll feel annoy if i always go find him..i muz act that he dun feel sad too..but in this bloggie..i really wanna release out my emotions..i really really really really love him..miss him..need bee wont die..cuz bay bee loves bar bee..n bar bee still very love bay bee..dun cut it off..i beg u..plz...plzzzz....i can promise u everything..i can do anything for u..believe me plz...i know im wrong..juz 1 more try? feng..dun push me to hell if u love me..i know u do..feng....fenggggggggg.....i dont cry in front of ppl..doesnt mean im not crying in my not want to 'bok tong ching'..i really really need u very much..i promise u i'll be very very guai n all listen to u..plz..i really wan to be with u only..bcuz only u love me in this world..if u leave me..there's only cover in my life..bay..u'r always my bay..plz take me back as ur bar bee..i wont take off the necklace which carved ur name..becuz i'm always urs..bay..that's only incident..we can work it out de..we can..bay, i really very need u to be my like lose my floating..i miss u....i want u back...bay... ayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Friends, Family, Lover...

Today's mood :>
all about love..i like to be with friends..but i dun wanna leave my lover..but i also can't live without family..that's a human need?? i tot i live for only my dear..but i found out the best love to give out is living happily..when u'r happy with everything dat's the best love u can give to ur loved happier..den everything will work out..+ u!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

it's not CNY..

Today's mood :>
haihz..almost every year i face this to say? situation..which like my own real brother..ahh...i dunno where to start 1st..from start till the not always not invited to their activity..i didnt act 'lan c' if u know me..they juz went still at home..writing bloggie..haihz..actually im not desperate wanna go genting..juz feel alienated..well i still can comfort myself using 'cheh! i dun follow u guyz go i still can go with my frens..n that will be much funnier n greater than with u guyz..!'but my heart still doesnt feel very i listen to benny benassi again =.= drinking beer..considered to smoke..but i didnt..i decide to call my bao bei service....arghhh....y...when i needed u the most u'r not there..y......y dont u stand by my side? i wanna get drunk n sleep..dun wanna think of anything......

Monday, February 07, 2005

back from Penang..

Today's mood :>
yooo back from Penang my brain n body r feeling uncontrol..especially my mind is very confuse n heart beat very getting high jor..i didnt take ecstacy ah..i didnt drink o smoke too..i didnt take drug..LoLx..i juz listen to songs..keng leh? it's good for me to feel like this without taking drugs least i wont hurt my organs ma..rite? well im listening benny benassi right now..might feel better if it's night now..with headset..n disco light..woohoo..that'll be great..
penang trip ah..not no nice la...cuz went there do assignment oni..not go not very excited..haha..the good thing is got free LAKSA eat loh..CNY coming soon..n oso valentine's plan a..cuz got project have to passup on valentine's day..mmmmm....i cannot write liao..have to stop..getting sooo high...

Friday, February 04, 2005

Entering 116th day..

Today's mood :>
today..the 116th..he's going to penang..i'll be going at not thinking of anything tonite..i mean rite now..maybe he juz gave me a kiss today :) maybe he juz stare at me today...makes me so 'lump'..let me think of everything that happen on the very 1st nite..that nite im kinda blur..maybe im sleepy..haha..but very clearly i know what im doing..i still can remember until now..that nite will be the only n the most wonderful nite i ever's juz like a dream..that's what i told's not a dream's real..the only thing i can do now is..keep going..that's all..

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Understood something..

Today's mood :>
last nite..i had a talk with him..juz becuz a forwarded sms..saying goodnite to him from his ex gf..i felt jealous..on y is she treating him so good?'s not only the sms..she gave him alot of stuff from 'speedy' (becuz she works there) free gifts n posters..his room is all full of posters..(althou a part of them r bought or stole from shop 1) y is she looking for him alone when she came to KL? y she will call him for comfort? y she sms him when she got nightmare n can't fall asleep?

there's so many questions inside my head..i didnt think that he likes her..n he did told me he didnt feel anything for her already..then y am i feeling sked?y am i feeling so unwell?he told'z juz becuz im that kinda person that when a person treat me good i'll like/love him..what can i say bout that?maybe last time i was that kinda person..but NOT! i love him more than everything..even another guy treat me better than he did..i still dun wanna leave him..mayb i juz have to see her face to face..n then i'll believe that she juz treat him as a NORMAL friend..

i wan to be comfort by him too..i wan his caring..even juz ask me have i eaten anything...i wan him to comfort me when i got nightmare..but what he said is i got hot-tempered..he said he spent lotsa time with me..he asked me y am i still feeling unsecure?did he know..when he's beside me,most of the time, he didnt show up his happy if i made him sad..

i felt so useless..his friends dont like joke is not funny..i took away him from his friends..i asked a lotsa silly questions..whether when im not with him he will feels better..becuz i can c..he smiles in front of his friends more than with me..i asked him that issit he get paid to be with me n ask me to diet..y is he still be with me even i got that LOTSA weaknesses n bad habit?

i need more caring..i need more warm..i duwan blanket..i juz wan him to hug me tightly..i guess that's the only time i can feel better..loved..n secured..y is he saying me 'kiasu'?i sked lose..yea i sked to LOSE HIM...yea he said he wont leave me..he really told me that..but everytime when he's angry with me..i really sked that's the end of our relationship..i lose in what?what i can win when we didnt end our relationship?face?wth?? i rather i can WIN UR ur ur everything..

y r u hurting me like this?i really did try to give u everything u want..mayb i juz expect too much..i hate those articles to say about what's love..y love n this n that..bcuz all the articles made ppl THINKS that this is love..n that is not..they made rules of love..Y? imagine if there's no articles or books write about u think u can love happier? when u got less sensitivity?

at last..i asked him a he still got feel on me..he didnt think n said knew that actually if u really love a person..u wont think bout his/her weaknesses or bad habit..n then i think..actually we'r the same..even how he hurts me..i'll still love him..i wish i dont meet an accident today n then passed away without letting him know..i didnt love him for something else..i love him from my heart..i juz dunwan him to talk about my bad things again..bcuz i dunwan that spoil our true love..

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Jay Chou~

Yeah...i bought a poster >.< there's already 3 jay's poster on my's his concert in Malaysia..have fun ya! im not going to the concert cuz my bao bei said it's going to be boring at the i rather have my sweet time with my bao bei ^.^ ganbate everyone!! q^_^p

Thursday, January 27, 2005


Today's mood :>
ei...not very long oni ma..4 days oni din post..hahah..ok loh...since my best fren Fish oso blogging..i layan abit..:D O'cha...what's about my title? i juz finished bath ah..used o'cha shower gel..erm..when bathing no smell 1..after bath then very very nice smell ah~~~ u guyz can have a try..ehehe..last few days my class got a very hot's about my 2 frens broke up..they were like 2 sticking honey bean..ehhehe..always together n nvr apart..suddenly got this news i really can't believe it lo..anyway i still hope both of them happy of them told me..if my loved 1 wants freedom then juz give him..what he wants juz give him..n then he'll understand y am i doing all this..i think cannot say like this loh..cuz everybody oso got own personality de..some will appreciate it..some will not..some will know it some will not..there's so many kind of ppl in this can u put a 'public format' on human ler..rite? for me..juz let it be..if he wants freedom which i can still afford..then i can give..what i told myself is..if he wants to run away..i can't block him..nobody can what for i stand there n blocking him to fly? i juz hope that he can fly above me n smiling at me...i know he wont agree with this..anyway he wont be reading my bloggie too..i write what i like.. :)

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Assignments again.....

Today's mood :>
let me list down what i have to do in this period...i almost forgot what i have to do..cuz everyday play gunbound until crazy..must put some time on my assignments liao..hehe

  • Online Media - Lab of Emotions
  • Multimedia Authoring - Malaysian Identity (KL Railway Station)
  • Marker Visual - Semi-finished Marker + 1 set of Figure Sketching

erm.....i think that's all...looks like very lil but when need to brainstorm that die la...alrite...if i din blog for a long time..plz b patient ah..hehe :P

oh yea...anybody know where can i download PowerWord 2003 software by Kingsoft for free?

n...anybody got Macromedia Director latest version de installation cd ? pirated oso can :P i need to install liao..hehe..

thx for reading..

Friday, January 21, 2005

Good Mood!

Today's mood :> im feeling so reason..maybe i think through something or what..haha..the last days passed i always in bad mood..n always want HIM to care bout me..i got many demands from him..n he get tired of that..but dunno y..i really dunno y i can feel so good now..maybe i gave a reason to myself..for the reason y am i feeling so bad last dayz..i guess maybe my "aunty" going to visit me..LoLx..but that really makes me happier..maybe if im happy in front of HIM..he'll be happy too..then i wont feel that he's sad then i'll be in bad mood again..rite? everytime i see his sad or moody face i'll be very moody n then he'll think that i suddenly moody then both of us oso moody...LoLx..y wan to act like that? i wan him to care bout me 1st i must care bout him..! am i right? n then i think of something..i wanna tell u guyz..HE ONLY LOVE ME! NOBODY ELSE...hehehe..mayb im too confident? well that's the way i comfort myself..i love to see his touching..especially the smile while juz wake up..heheh..he's completely blur but he'll smile n looking at me...owww im gonna cry..heheh i must stop here..cuz he's waiting me to go over his place n have lunch with HIM..i wanna write down this that in the future i'll know how good i actually feel this time..if im sad..hehehhe...bao bei..i really hope u can read this..cuz i really wanna tell u..I LOVE U..more than everything in my i too selfish? i can't hide..i wanna let u feel my passion on u..ganbatte! ^.^

Thursday, January 20, 2005


Today's mood :>

meaning of this sentence is :
"Are we don't have any topic to talk about, or already reach the stage which will understand even we don't talk?I don't want both of them...

issit abit negative leh? i tried to joke..but he doesnt smile..i tried to talk alot to make him happy a lil bit..but he didn't tend to gimme some i dunwan to talk..i shut my mouth..n stare at him..i dunwan to make myself fall into this..i dunwan to make myself cry..what's changing when time passed? my love? his love? no no no...we really love each other!! then what's the matter? what's the matter....

Monday, January 10, 2005


Today's mood :>
college reopen..assignments continue coming..T.T i really wanna try hard on my works ler..although everytime i finish my work last minute..sad to say a multimedia designer..i should have my own e-portfolio rite? im doing so badly here..wasted my parents money to let me study in such expensive college..feeling so shame to share my ugly artworks.. anyway... try lah! nowadays juz created a forum for my dear time den visit lo..empty forum =.=

Thursday, January 06, 2005

My Bao Bei...

Today's mood :>
hmm..let's guess who's my Bao Bei (Honey) so happy that he said he loves me yesterday..woohooo...he used to say that he doesnt need to say "i love u" becuz i will know it if he really loves me..but i explained to him tat if he tells me then i'll have a powerful prove that he REALLY loves me n i can hold that sentence until end of my's really very touching so i cried..there's no other "i love u" much real than his 1...ahhhhhh...i love u too my Bao Bei..