Sunday, January 30, 2005

Understood something..

Today's mood :>
last nite..i had a talk with him..juz becuz a forwarded sms..saying goodnite to him from his ex gf..i felt jealous..on y is she treating him so good?'s not only the sms..she gave him alot of stuff from 'speedy' (becuz she works there) free gifts n posters..his room is all full of posters..(althou a part of them r bought or stole from shop 1) y is she looking for him alone when she came to KL? y she will call him for comfort? y she sms him when she got nightmare n can't fall asleep?

there's so many questions inside my head..i didnt think that he likes her..n he did told me he didnt feel anything for her already..then y am i feeling sked?y am i feeling so unwell?he told'z juz becuz im that kinda person that when a person treat me good i'll like/love him..what can i say bout that?maybe last time i was that kinda person..but NOT! i love him more than everything..even another guy treat me better than he did..i still dun wanna leave him..mayb i juz have to see her face to face..n then i'll believe that she juz treat him as a NORMAL friend..

i wan to be comfort by him too..i wan his caring..even juz ask me have i eaten anything...i wan him to comfort me when i got nightmare..but what he said is i got hot-tempered..he said he spent lotsa time with me..he asked me y am i still feeling unsecure?did he know..when he's beside me,most of the time, he didnt show up his happy if i made him sad..

i felt so useless..his friends dont like joke is not funny..i took away him from his friends..i asked a lotsa silly questions..whether when im not with him he will feels better..becuz i can c..he smiles in front of his friends more than with me..i asked him that issit he get paid to be with me n ask me to diet..y is he still be with me even i got that LOTSA weaknesses n bad habit?

i need more caring..i need more warm..i duwan blanket..i juz wan him to hug me tightly..i guess that's the only time i can feel better..loved..n secured..y is he saying me 'kiasu'?i sked lose..yea i sked to LOSE HIM...yea he said he wont leave me..he really told me that..but everytime when he's angry with me..i really sked that's the end of our relationship..i lose in what?what i can win when we didnt end our relationship?face?wth?? i rather i can WIN UR ur ur everything..

y r u hurting me like this?i really did try to give u everything u want..mayb i juz expect too much..i hate those articles to say about what's love..y love n this n that..bcuz all the articles made ppl THINKS that this is love..n that is not..they made rules of love..Y? imagine if there's no articles or books write about u think u can love happier? when u got less sensitivity?

at last..i asked him a he still got feel on me..he didnt think n said knew that actually if u really love a person..u wont think bout his/her weaknesses or bad habit..n then i think..actually we'r the same..even how he hurts me..i'll still love him..i wish i dont meet an accident today n then passed away without letting him know..i didnt love him for something else..i love him from my heart..i juz dunwan him to talk about my bad things again..bcuz i dunwan that spoil our true love..

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